About hate

There are those words that we like because they sound a certain way, they roll comfortably out of our mouths. Then there are those words we don't like, weird and ugly and sometimes we avoid saying them. 

And there is 'hate' that, if I look at it from an aesthetics point of view, it's not ugly, but it's not pretty either. It doesn't stand out in any way, it's just a word we have. If I look at it from a semantics point of view, 'hate' is an ugly word, it's exactly what it describes, and it's powerful. 

I go out of my way to avoid using the word when I'm talking about someone or something. I don't feel comfortable using it and I don't actually feel what it describes. Sure, I've felt it before and I said it to myself, I said "I hate that" to myself a couple times, but I didn't let it get past my lips. 

hate /heɪt/

A. verb
01. feel intense dislike for
02. have a strong aversion to (something)
03. used politely to express one's regret or embarrassment at doing something.

B. noun
01. denoting hostile actions motivated by intense dislike or prejudice.
02. an intensely disliked person or thing.
  
SYNONYM
loathe, detest, dislike greatly

ANTONYM

love, like

From here on I'm going to refer to 'hate' as it is defined by A.01.

I don't remember if there was a time when I used this word out loud. Maybe when I was little, maybe in highschool, I don't know. I don't remember when I realized I don't like it and I don't want to use it, I don't know if it was because I just didn't feel it or if something caused me not liking it. Maybe I didn't like the way someone said it, yelled it. Maybe I didn't like the way it makes people's faces ugly.

Or maybe I didn't like the trace it still left long after being said. 

Instead I use the word 'dislike'; it's a bit softer, it doesn't feel as powerful and it's the opposite of 'like' which is also not a really powerful word to me. 

dislike /dɪsˈlʌɪk/

verb
feel distaste for or hostility towards.
noun
a feeling of distaste or hostility.
   
SYNONYM
hate, detest, aversion
ANTONYM

like, love

Words are often used without thinking, no one really stops and wonder what word to use when saying something, and it is unlikely for someone to not speak to someone else because they didn't use the word 'sofa' instead of 'couch'. They might be upset if they are really passionate about the subject, but nothing life altering. Whereas when someone says they hate something or someone, the fall-back can be really tough.

The problem with 'hate' is that it's being said without thinking and the person that hears it doesn't forget it. They might say it's okay, but the feeling stays and they will often be reminded about it over and over again.

When spoken 'hate' is always filled by the very things it describes, it is filled with wrath, loathe, and it's used at a time when the speaker doesn't really think. Later they might feel sorry for saying it, they might want to take it back, that is not possible, so everything falls apart for a while until the other person can forgive it or the situation can't be fixed anymore. 

Since 'hate' is mostly used when not thinking, I propose to take a few minutes and think about it now that you are in a calm state. 

Is there really anything you feel like you hate? What is it? What don't you like about it and how can you tackle it? 

When is the last time you used the word? Did you really feel 'hate'? Do you now?

Is there any situation created by the word and could have been avoided? 

Think about it, see how it affects you and do something to change it. Stop using the word 'hate'. Replace it with something else instead, forget about it. Or when you feel like you're close to saying it, take a few minutes to think about what you are about to say. Go in another room, drink a glass of water, take a deep breath.

We need to realise the power 'hate' has. I'm convinced most people that use it don't even know what it means. They don't realise how deep it can lodge itself in the hearts of those who hear it, they don't realise the damage one single word can make. At the same time, I don't excuse them for using a word they don't know. I fully blame them, they have all the time to look it up, to think about it.

I really don't like people who use the word 'hate' without a second thought, and I like people that use it fully knowing what it can do even less.