Blog Challenge #09: What's the worse movie you ever watched?

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I have to say the worse film I ever watched was Tusk. Some people might find this film to be amazing, but not for me. Tusk is supposed to be a horror/dark comedy, but I couldn't see the comedy in it and it was just bad. It's been a while since I watched it so I might not remember every detail. Still, I am going to spare myself the horror of watching it again. 

Although I must admit the film is indeed original, it feels like the screenplay lacks a bit, and the characters, apart from the main character, but just a bit, are left underdeveloped.

     Spoilers ahead.

In the 2014 film Tusk we have this podcaster, Wallace, travel to Canada to interview someone. He meets Howard Howe, an old seafarer that has quite some stories to tell. And some surgical, and metal changes to make in order to turn Wallace into a walrus. Howe takes Wallace to his home and keeps him hostage while starting to change him.

At some point Wallace manages to send a message to his girlfriend and his best friend (that are having an affair, by the way) saying that he's been kidnapped and needs help, or something along the lines, and what do they think it's the most logical thing to do? No, not calling the police or anything, but flying to Canada themselves to look for Wallace. (I'm guessing they didn't really care about him in the first place.)

Once there, after they talk to the locals trying to find Wallace, they find Wallace's car, and again, what do they do? Call the police? Now don't get your hopes up. Because they don't. They do find some cop that is pursuing the case, and even though I did enjoy watching Johnny Depp in this small role and shift from Wallace's transformation into a walrus, he wasn't of much help.

By the time Wallace is finally found, he's already turned into a walrus, he's in a suit made of... other people that went trough the same transformation but didn't survive it. He is saved, but is so merged into his new form (?) that he wants to remain like that. Which makes no sense, doesn't the police need to get all those body parts and skin off of him? Instead of doing something about it, Wallace is kept into a zoo and fed raw fish.

What happened to Howe, you might ask. Wallace killed him, but in a way Howe was the winner in all this since Wallace actually decided to remain a walrus.

I keep trying to find some purpose, hidden meaning to this film, but I can't find any. Tusk is not a horror film, as someone said in a review, it's too silly to be horror. It's not a comedy either, there's nothing to laugh about except maybe at how bad it is. And none of it really makes sense. Apart for the girlfriend and best friend not trying to get any legal help, Wallace ending up in a zoo (a freaking zoo!), and not out of the suit, there's also the skin used for the suit. Trying to make a walrus took Howe a lot of tries. He made the suit using the skin of people he previously killed, obviously not all at once, so how come the skin wasn't severely damaged?

This was a horrific post to write (yay for going beyond limits). I don't recommend in any way this film, it's cringe worthy and just so, so, sooooo bad. But since I wrote about this, please do tell me what you thought about it if you watched it or what is your worse film ever watched.

Also, this post is awfully written, but that's really the best I can on this subject. (->﹏<-)

Blog Challenge #08: What do you find most difficult/challenging about blogging?

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There are actually two things I find really difficult, and it's not even funny anymore. The first one is staying committed to writing on the blog. I sometimes get a lot of ideas, open Notepad and write these ideas down, but when it comes to develop them on the blog, it takes months. I deleted some of those notes, but I still have enough that I could write about. Somehow I always find a reason not to. They are reasons like, "oh, I have work", "oh, there is this other thing I have to do", "oh, I spent hours watching videos on yt." 

The second most difficult thing is my critic side. I write something, and if there is even a word, a way I phrased, or if I don't find the post length appropriate, I'm not posting. And then a few months pass and I delete whatever I previously wrote and start all over with different subjects, same issues. 

When I write it's really great, but when I get to correcting I am the worse. I feel like sometimes I really do try too hard, and I should be easier on myself, but I just can't help it. Of course I can't make everything sound and look exactly the way I want to, and I should start listening to the advice I give to other people and that I strongly believe. The thing is, when you write something, you are there from start to finish, you control the whole process, and no one is going to see the things the same way you do. That's why people that draw amazingly tend to not believe you when you praise them, because they know every single line, every stroke that they erased or redid. Same as writing, you know every word you changed, every paragraph you cut off. 

Another thing that just crossed my mind that I find difficult is letting myself all out. I am a very private person, you don't ask, I don't tell (I actually got this small quote from somewhere, and I relate to it strongly), so just writing stuff about myself, about what I believe, feels like people might take it the wrong way, although I can't see one single valid reason that could happen. I wonder if anyone feels like this too, I can't be the only one, right? I also don't want to post a badly, half assed written post. It just doesn't sit well with me and it makes me feel bad even when said post lays as a draft.

TL;DR: Three most difficult things about blogging for me are commitment, being a perfectionist, and not wanting the articles to look like I try too hard or not trying at all. (ー_ー

P.S. again: I actually think this post could have looked better, but on the bright side this challenge seems to really keep me writing and posting no matter what. Also, I should have posted this yesterday, but I was so sleepy after work that I couldn't.

Blog Challenge #07: How have you changed in the past five years?

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I was a really shy and sensitive kid growing up. I could cry because of literally anything. I bumped into a table? Yups, I would cry. You raised your tone just a notch higher that normal when talking to me? Yups, crying again. I accidentally broke a tree branch? Better hide and cry some more. 

I am really glad to say that my younger crying self is way behind me. Now I am more of a "don't give a fuck" kind of person, definitely not shy anymore, but I would, at any time, avoid talking to people unless I reaaally have to. I don't know how I come across to other people, but I am the kind that values the time spent alone, and at the same time I become paranoid and a bit lonely when there's no one around. 

Going to college roughly five years ago had the biggest impact on me. I met a lot of new people and it felt refreshing talking openly about not having money, share opinions, and talk about just whatever crossed my mind. Growing up in a small village with almost no one my age to share my opinions with and asking questions, I was rather afraid of speaking up, but the whole college experience contributed to my change. I learned so much about myself and about the world that now I can say I am a different person. 

Of course my younger self is not all behind. Even now I'd rather not speak up unless things are really unfair and affects me in a bad way. I stay away of arguments and fights as much as possible, and I generally don't let mean comments affect me. Although I never was one that cared about what people say about me. You don't like how I dress? That's your problem, buddy, I suggest you look away.

I keep noticing things I do differently than before, I notice how I react differently to what happens around me. If you'd put the me now, and my teenage self side by side, I don't think anyone would believe we are the same person.

There are also some changes that happened simply because I grew up, I became an adult (although I'm terrible at adulting). Things that seemed vital to me years ago aren't important now. If my teenage self would read every interview and every piece of information about their favourite bands, now I don't really care about anything more than the music itself.

All in all, I enjoy realizing how I changed, and I truly believe that I am a better self. I strive to change even more, and I'm certain I will, it's inevitable. (•ᴗ•)

P.S.: I recently activated anonymous comments on my blog, and now I have hundreds of spam to go through. It wouldn't have come to this if blogger would have been kind enough to notify me about the comments other than by e-mail (I use a different mail that the one on my contact form and I don't check that one as often). What I want to say is thank you to the people that replied to my previous posts. I answered to some of them and I'll check today to see if there are any more non-spam replies.
But really, blogger, is it that hard to notify authors about comments on dashboard? Spam or not.